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Видео добавленное пользователем “The Onion”
Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
 
03:02
Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 2068431 The Onion
How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge
 
02:54
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Defensive driving instructor Danny Preston says the best way to avoid conflict on the road is to execute long-term psychological torment on aggressive drivers. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/
Просмотров: 978179 The Onion
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
 
02:31
Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 6971107 The Onion
Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
 
03:13
Two teens visit Today Now! in the hopes of finding their kidnapped friend and letting her know that their classmate is totally knocked up.
Просмотров: 1072401 The Onion
Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
 
02:05
With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.
Просмотров: 922981 The Onion
Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex
 
02:42
In The Know: Panelists discuss the complicated issues facing Nigeria or Niger. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Просмотров: 543432 The Onion
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall
 
02:36
Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1110633 The Onion
FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
 
02:07
Made by Pfizer, Despondex is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 2010099 The Onion
Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult
 
01:54
The court ruled a white teen who stabbed a classmate to death will face the jury as a 300-pound black man. Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC.
Просмотров: 2082664 The Onion
Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
 
01:39
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1491510 The Onion
Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked
 
02:46
Panelists discuss whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1658553 The Onion
'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'
 
01:51
Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1886280 The Onion
Parenting Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Raise Your Own Goddamn Kids
 
02:52
Did Jim's mom fail him? Watch an extended clip here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SExUqnyXJKY Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/
Просмотров: 634798 The Onion
How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side
 
02:46
On Today Now!, golf expert Jordan Ritter has some Pro Tips for maintaining a steady swing while hitting the links with your mistress' husband.
Просмотров: 682027 The Onion
Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
 
02:16
From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
Просмотров: 1201657 The Onion
More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
 
02:27
A new Department of Labor report finds personal outsourcing is revolutionizing how Americans dont do their own work.
Просмотров: 843080 The Onion
In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?
 
02:18
Panelists discuss the many ways in which our educational system caters to students who try, care, are awake.
Просмотров: 770146 The Onion
Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law
 
02:58
After years of gridlock, Democrats and Republicans have realized no one remembers how to actually enact legislation. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 652128 The Onion
Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
 
02:55
Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner installment. More coverage at: http://onion.com
Просмотров: 776999 The Onion
Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport
 
02:26
Business Week ranked the airport last in customer satisfaction due to long delays, bureaucratic employees, and overall oppressive atmosphere.
Просмотров: 501881 The Onion
Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine
 
02:20
Michael Falk interviews new prison inmate, disgraced financier, Brian Wasserman, and becomes spellbound by the repetitive monotony of daily prison life.
Просмотров: 901004 The Onion
Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?
 
02:20
In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as hiding cameras in their homes or audio transmitters in their ears. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Просмотров: 857672 The Onion
Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart
 
02:38
A gunman at a Dearborn, MI Walmart is holding dozens of shoppers who say they only happened to be at the tacky megachain by coincidence.
Просмотров: 683738 The Onion
Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars
 
02:41
Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1791959 The Onion
Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election
 
03:00
Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.
Просмотров: 831907 The Onion
U.S. Shocked Andorra Not In Africa
 
02:04
The United States gave billions of dollars in aid to the wealthy European principality of Andorra, which it mistakenly assumed was a poor African country. More coverage at: http://onion.com
Просмотров: 441313 The Onion
Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"
 
02:25
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Jim and Tracy welcome Chris Morgan, the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed "Fast And The Furious" sequel. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/
Просмотров: 763071 The Onion
VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill
 
02:14
Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 2226815 The Onion
Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes
 
02:26
Host becomes curiously pushy, sweaty in this roundtable discussion about loopholes in manslaughter law in the US.
Просмотров: 655978 The Onion
Anonymous Hero Donates Hospital 200 Human Kidneys
 
01:12
Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thank him. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1588083 The Onion
Back Of Library Smells Like Weed
 
01:44
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Library patrons in Pennington, IL report that something definitely smells like weed back in the young adult section. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1367054 The Onion
Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
 
02:51
Designers say the new game explores the endless paperwork, routine patrolling a modern day soldier endures in photorealistic detail.
Просмотров: 684463 The Onion
Obama Replaces Costly High-Speed Rail Plan With High-Speed Bus Plan
 
01:49
President Obama's proposed high-speed train system will be replaced with a fleet of buses that will rocket along highways at speeds up to 165 mph.
Просмотров: 597277 The Onion
DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
 
01:54
The DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 1825382 The Onion
New Live Poll Lets Pundits Pander To Viewers In Real Time
 
03:10
In The Know's new live internet poll feature revolutionizes how pundits shamelessly cater to what viewers want to hear.
Просмотров: 284758 The Onion
U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt
 
02:30
Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for the U.S. economy.
Просмотров: 583885 The Onion
Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman
 
03:45
At a press conference today, the AGU announced it will not even acknowledge Mike Greenman until he begins dressing better and loses some weight.
Просмотров: 1042337 The Onion
Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister
 
01:54
Ohio police have been inundated with false sightings of college-age girls with dyed blond hair, Ugg boots, purple nail polish, and oversized sunglasses.
Просмотров: 488226 The Onion
Perfect One-Pot, Six-Pan, 10-Wok, 25-Baking Sheet Dinner
 
02:07
Best part about this simple recipe: The potatoes, pasta, broccoli, dried chiles, beef, parsnips, beets, and all 12 sauces can cook at the same time. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video/
Просмотров: 476553 The Onion
Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth
 
01:30
(From ONN on IFC TV, Fridays 10/9c) In local news from Pennington, IL, a handsome teen who owns his own truck is responsible for over half of new pregnancies. More local news at WONN5.com.
Просмотров: 619087 The Onion
Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays
 
02:02
With the reconstruction of Ground Zero finally underway, anchor Brandon Armstrong invites two guests to discuss the progress. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Просмотров: 403297 The Onion
Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment
 
02:03
Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts to find out how many teens are illegally enriching uranium and selling it to rogue states.
Просмотров: 413933 The Onion
Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power?
 
02:10
Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: http://onion.com
Просмотров: 941631 The Onion
Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot
 
02:27
Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area. More coverage: http://onion.com
Просмотров: 578736 The Onion
HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About'
 
02:10
HP announced they're making a new push into cloud computing and that they totally know what that is. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 338735 The Onion
What Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You?
 
02:01
The First Responders discuss how to keep the amateur porn you make from affecting your job search. (Aired 11/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 375868 The Onion
World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
 
02:11
Nothing can stop Carl Wainwright from doing what he loves best -- performing surgery on the human brain. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Просмотров: 400614 The Onion
Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish
 
02:13
Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish vocabulary.
Просмотров: 1745971 The Onion
Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?
 
02:28
Our panelists debate whether TV programs like A Double Shot At Love and The Bad Girls Club depict unattainable levels of skankiness. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
Просмотров: 5054639 The Onion
NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast
 
02:41
On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Просмотров: 422172 The Onion