If you’re an introvert someone at some point in time has probably asked you what’s wrong? Are you feeling ok? Why are you so quiet? And you silently in your head want to politely say: Would you please SHUT THE F*CK UP? But instead you end up saying the same thing you always say: Nothings wrong. Yes I’m fine. Or I didn’t realize I was being so quiet.
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The terms introvert and extrovert come from the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. But our current understanding of the idea comes more from the German psychologist Hans Eysenck. The idea can be thought of as a spectrum. On one side you have the extreme extrovert that is super outgoing, talkative, and energetic while on the other you have the extreme introvert who is very reserved and solitary. Most of us lie somewhere on this spectrum, and some of us even lie in the middle and would be considered an ambivert. Ambiverts get the best of both worlds and have been scientifically shown to be better sales people than both extroverts and introverts, but that’s beside the point.
Some people mistake an introverted person as a shy person. But the two are actually unrelated. Shyness is a fear of social judgment. While introversion is simply how one responds to stimulation – whether social or not. Introverts simply feel more alive in quiet, low key environments.
Part of this has to do with science. First, all humans have something called an Ascending Reticular Activating System which is part of the brain stem that regulates how much stimulation we need to feel good. You see, your brain wants to feel good and needs a certain amount of stimulation in order to reach a happy point. While introverts already have a lot of stimulation going on in their brains, they don’t need as much external stimulation to get to that happy point. The opposite is true of extroverts who have less stimulation going on in their brains and thus need more external stimulation to reach their happy point.
Second, our personality traits are linked to our genetics to an extent. There are studies that show that extroverts share two copies of one allele that introverts lack. Third, brain scans of both show that introverts have a thicker frontal lobe than extroverts which is linked to a tendency toward deep thought and planning over impulsive action, but are also linked to anxiety and depression. Finally, in another study in which extroverts and introverts were asked to look at photos of people, the brains of extroverts responded more strongly when seeing groups of people in photos, implying that introverts don’t need as much social connection to feel good.
The book by Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking explains how our society is structured for extroverts, and how that might limit the creative progress of it. You see Cain found that a third to half of the population are introverts, but if you look at schools or the work place, nearly all people are expected to work cooperatively in groups and the leaders that emerge are generally the most outspoken and extroverted. And while this happen frequently the research shows introverts may be better leaders due to their careful and thoughtful consideration of ideas and their ability to allow those they lead to feel more autonomous. Some introverted leaders in history include Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, and Rosa Parks.
Cain also says that solitude is a crucial ingredient to creativity. In fact Charles Darwin is famous for turning down dinner invitations and taking long walks by himself in the woods. You can also see this in most world belief systems – where the likes of the Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad all go off on a solo journey, finding wisdom, and return with a message. Sounds like the Hero’s Journey huh?
The fact is, is that there are zero correlations between being the best talker and having the best ideas. But our society is structured so that the best talker usually becomes the leader. How did this happen?
My mom said to me; "Why don't you wanna invite anyone over for your birthday? Don't be weird like your sister, you don't wanna be like her! She's sad and has no friends!"
It's my birthday lmao.
And I can't change my personality smh. I was just born not wanting to interact much with people.
Ambiverts don't actually exist. There is no unique ambivert brain structure like there is for extroverts and introverts. It's more accurate to say that everyone leans to different degrees of one or the other.
Game-Freak67 Not true! I feel happy to be around people all day, but do feel exhausted. I sleep and I'm ok after that. I do however hate parties and concerts that involve lots of social reaction. Mix of two worlds.
Introversion could be a factor that contributes to terrorism, add to that social rejection and stigma.
A recipe for disaster that made up nearly all of the terrorists.
>get rejected continously
>literally dehumanize everyone in thought
>conform to a certain ideology or become lone wolf
>conduct violent act
Sounds anacdotal, but there are more of such cases.
This is a matter of creating new demographics that contain the correlation between introversion and terrorism
I get asked at least five times a day, “Are you okay?” And at this point I say, “I’m fine but everyone seems to think I’m depressed or something so should I just walk around with a smile on my face? If I did that then you would also ask me if I was okay. I just have a resting sad face and like being alone, OKAY?!”
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Bobby Ranger youre one of the other dude. Everyone exhibits traits of both at times but that doesnt mean youre "in the middle" there no such thing lol. When it boils down to it youre one or the other. Now im getting off of the video bc im tired of replying to all of these "ambivert" bs comments.
I hate being an extrovert.. somehow my friend in middle school who is now in highschool has made new friends or others that I became attached too.. basically.. I'm an introvert.. I guess.. I forced myself into the crowd..
i think a nice way to explain this in a different way the tv program the office think of it this way Michael is the extreme extrovert, Jim/Pam is the ambivert and Toby is the introvert.
and yes i love the office
L. T C. Youre one or the other. Youre saying two things that completely contradict themselves. Being with others makes everyone happy lol. The question is how long can you go in social situations, not whether or not you like them. Everyone has traits of both, but that doesnt mean that one side doesnt dominate the other. You just need to figure out what the dominating side is bc youre clearly confused.
I'll be honest. Extroverts can be annoying. They just talk too much. I would know because I just made a complete switch from extrovert to introvert in the 8th grade. When I finally finished puberty I was a full blown introvert. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I LIKE TO SIT AND THINK A LOT. these extroverts assume you're too shy.
Ishmael Moh I feel comfortable right now since I'm in school, but I'm going to have to change so that I don't fail interviews so I can get a job when I get older.
I wish i was born as a rock sometimes...
Ishmael Moh I'm literally the same.
I used to be loud, put my hand up in class, tried hard in everything and made friends easily. I was also somewhat self-conscious.
Now I'm lazy, when I know the answer to a question I don't raise my hand, I'm unreactive in general, only really deep comfortable around close friends and I don't really care what people think of me. And I'm a pessimist. Almost a complete 180 thanks to puberty...
that's a good one.. someone says, you're quiet.. you don't talk much.. say back, you talk a lot... you know who else talked a lot? Hitler... 😐boom.. drop the mic.. head exploded.. society is never the same again...
I used to be an extreme introvert, but I've grown up to be somewhere in the middle.
There was a point I hated people and the interaction that comes with them.
I'd avoid all conversations and just huddle away in my room.
But as I grew older (recently turned 30) I found out that despite the fact I still dont like to be amongst people, I have great leadership skills.
So when push comes to shove, I am all there, but when there's nothing to shove, I'm in my own little corner of thoughts.
I grew up being shy and had little to no friends, caused by my extreme introvertedness, but now I am open and make friends easily.
I am now a completely different person from the person I was when I was younger.
I also realised that I absolutely love to be isolated out in the woods. Just me and the smell of pinestrees. And I actually do feel like I'm on a spiritual road when I'm alone in the woods, about to get lost both in thought and surroundings.
Though, this bliss is disrubted the instant I hear someone talking/moving in the distance, and I try to avoid any type of contact.
Kind of like a wild animal hiding from scary humans. Lol.
But when I'm in a city, I'm prone to look everybody in the eyes; being the stronger animal.
I've learned to adapt to different enviroments and personal needs, wich taught me to be both extroverted and introverted at any given time or situation.
Jared Brandt youre an introvert lol. No need to make it complicated or try to make yourself seem special. Youre either one or the other. Ambivert is just bs used by ppl who dont like labels. I swear ambivert is like the "non-binary" gender of personality types. Its not supported by any research and completely socially constructed for ppl who dont like labels. Youre one or the other, thats it. Yes you can be a confident introvert and exhibits traits that extroverts do at times but that doesnt somehow make you both bc theres no such thing lol.
Joseph Westhill I think I managed to turn it around because of the hatred I had towards other people in high school, and the way they treated me. It forced me to hide in my own shell and not show my true colours (because of bullying and such).
It boiled to a breaking point, and instead of going for violence I took the route of selfdevelopment.
I chose to live for me and nobody else, so I made decisions that would only benefit me and I didn't care if it upset anybody.
I became very strong mentally and learned to love myself, including the hatred I carried around with me.
If you can create your world in such a way that the only one you need is yourself(excluding family of course), you are mentally stronger and I believe this is what introverts should strive for; what they are made for.
Introverts are naturally independent, so use that to your advantage. Build on that.
I learned that I have great leadership skills in my last job where I worked in a factory and I was given charge of many new employees. I was always more of a follower when it came to work.
Prone to be the assistent rather than the manager, but here I had to step up and to my surprise it went very well; to the point where new employees would compliment me on my patience and say I was a good teacher for them.
It's a given I dont work there anymore because I made the decision, again, to chose me over them.
As they gave me less and less hours I wasn't able to pay my bills anymore. So they gave me the option: Stay and be stressed out, or leave and have nowhere to go.
I chose to leave, right then and there.
It really wasn't such a hard choise. I mean, if your boss gives you the option to work for minimum pay despite the fact you work hard and well, or to leave, you should leave.
For sure, it's a scary step, but to me it is more scary to work somewhere where you're unhappy and where you only go to pay your bills. I call that Work-to-live-and-live-to-work. It's not a life anybody should lead.
Right now I'm on the verge of moving, and can start working again as soon as I do.
The first thing I did when I quit my job was live in my car for a few days and roam forests and sit by beaches.
All to clear my head and see what options I had and what I really wanted to do. Turns out I really like to be in nature and to travel; roadtrips with minimal posessions. And thus I set out goals; Move somewhere near beautiful nature and find work there so I'd at least have an income the moment I move in. I dont care what type of work it is, as long as I can pay my bills and save a bit for traveling.
So I changed my 'work to live and live to work' motto into 'work to live and live to travel'.
That is how it all began and how mentally strong I am now; I can pack up and leave and never look back.
I hold no regrets to any decision I have made because I do believe that every tough choise will have a great outcome. Also, something that keeps me going is Faith. I'm not a god-fearer but I do believe that no matter what I do, I'll live and each time I fall down, I will get up again.
Everything in live is a lesson, you just have to see it.
Jared Brandt That is very impressive. As an extreme introvert myself, I was wondering how this came about? Was there a particular event that caused you to become this adaptable? What do you do that requires you to be in a leadership position? :-)
Mackenzie Fleming lol sorry but youre not both youre either one or the other. Just because you exhibit traits of both doesnt mean youre both. Everyone can have traits of both sides at times, but everyone is domimated by one side more than the other. Like by definition literally everyone in the world could call themselves an ambivert bc yeah i like being alone but I also like spending time with my friends. Who doesn't? All of this "ambivert" and "introverted extrovert" crap is just bs and used by people to try and stand out. It is simply a false construct.
I'm an introvert. I always spend my times in door playing with my phone and drawings. I have never asked anyone to hang out before because I'm shy and I don't know how to start a conversation that would interest them. I also dislike loud parties and I'm bad at sport. Sometimes I even question my life because I'm always indoor. I don't know how to communicate well. But I have a few extrovert friends who kinda help me learn about social stuffs. Tho, most of the time I want to be alone. I love being alone but sometimes I feel empty if it's too long.
I've felt similar. Finding a job or doing hobby's in which you have to have at least some interaction helps. And the best part is you get to look forward to coming home and spending time by yourself. A lover helps, too. But only if they can respect your appreciation of solitude.
MooMOONBYUL it doesnt mean either of those things omg...you can still be socially capable and confident as an introvert. Saying youre an introvert has nothing to do with your social skills. Its more of how long you can go in social situations and how quickly you run out of energy. People are taking such simple concepts way too far and as a result it causes them to be afraid to "commit" to either side. When in reality theyre either one or the other. Do you lose or gain energy from social situations? Its literally that simple but ppl take it too far and now terms like "ambivert" are popping up which is just dumb.
MooMOONBYUL No. people always get the definitions wrong. Introversion is basically people (introverts) that get their energy/recharge when alone. Introverts lose energy when socialising especially in crowds.
Extroverts get their energy while being with others in large groups and social settings. They lose energy when alone.
Personally I think that you should find a balance. If you lean towards introversion but you are confident and sociable then you will make deeper connections with others and make good friends easily.
Extroverts tend to have a lot of acquaintances but lack deep and meaningful long term friendships that they can always rely on.
I consider myself an ambivert, I like to keep to myself most of the time, but sometimes I can talk to people normally. Sometimes I get very introverted and over-think things which makes me become awkward and shy, and sometimes I'm way too extroverted and want to talk to everyone..not most of the time but yeah. I'm technically a social introvert, I like to talk to my friends and family and shut down to anyone else, some people I can interact with without a problem. Yeah I can get pretty depressed but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. I think of myself as pathetic for not getting up and taking a shower everyday....I get up after like.. 3 days or so...some people are worse but that's just me. I pity of myself for being lazy and leaving dishes in my room. Of course I clean it after a while. I just over exaggerate things and think too much, that's why I talk to people, to stop thinking.. But if I don't think I sound stupid and pity myself over that. It's an endless cycle of over exaggeration and- wow this comment turned into a vent..WELL....GOOD DAY TO WHOM HAS READ THIS, thanks for staying ;W; don't worry, I'm ok, just dumb :3
Kristian Nunez but like.. I'm not afraid of calling myself an introvert or extrovert. I just don't fkin understand wich am I?? Sometimes I'm like extroverts and sometimes like introverts. Who will tell me what am I??
Yeh also sorry for my english skills
Chiibbø ambivert is a false social construct. Everyone exhibits traits of both personalities at times but that doesnt make you both. There is one that dominates the other. Literally everyone in the world has exhibited traits of both at one point but they dont call themselves ambivert bc of it lol. Ambivert is just a term that people identify with bc theyre too scared to label themselves with one side. Smh. You literally admitted youre a "social introvert" there is your answer lol youre an introvert.
I don't think introversion is bad to most people. I have seen alot of extroverted people call them selves introverts. I presume it is the same reason alot of non nerds call themselves nerds. I believe that the nerds and introverts fought to be themselves and when alot of people came out of any sort of hiding the idea became mainstream.
So I'm a shy person more than I'm an introvert. Shyness, external forces and life setbacks have made me an introvert when I'd probably have thrived more if I was closer to the extrovert end of the spectrum.
I really don't know what you should do outside. Like duh, walk. But like ??? Where is the joy? I'd rather talk with people while playing a videogame with them and making jokes and shit. And most importantly people that have exactly the same taste as me.
Yeah, better thinkers I can buy without a doubt. I lie in the middle even though I do consider myself as a misanthropist.
While yes, school only teach in extroverted methods. I myself think it is a lot better than any introverted method. Creative but most likely not productive.
DieNamyc HD I have one acquaintance and no friends. It is much harder to be used, betrayed, and horribly abandoned, by an acquaintance. I keep said acquaintance at a distance. I believe she has tried to make me a friend but I keep her at a distance. It took quite a while for her to even be regarded an acquaintance. When one wants to get to know someone as much as she wants to know me, she has to have an alternative reason for doing so. At a distance I will keep her. There is no way she can like me for me. I am very, very, suspecious of her.
For me, I couldn't go too long without seeing the people I love, not for social interaction, but just because I would miss them. For those who I'm not close to, it's not a necessity to interact with them. However, it is fun to connect with new people, on the rare occasion that happens.
My best friend recently moved to my neighborhood, and I'm an extreme introvert, and she is an extrovert. She always tells me if she can come to my house. I usually go out or plan something ahead before someone visits me or if I go out with a couple friends, but I have to say yes b/c I don't want to be rude. I honestly don't feel very comfortable all the time, b/c she invites herself over when she wants. I feel more happy when I'm alone, I can take naps, watch movies, clean and cook. But when I'm with her she always wants to do something. I really never have time to do some of my own stuff ALONE! I actually told her today that I like to be alone more than go out and hang with people. And she told me that I'm depressed and should go see a doctor , but in reality I really don't, I just wish she knew when I want to be alone and when I want to plan something to go somewhere. :(
ive been there too. the thing is, we cant change what people think of us, and we cant change us, but we can change what we think about others. what i did was, i gave myself the respect i deserve.
first, you can try to make her understand that there are people who just prefer solitary and you are one of them, and you sometimes want to be alone. but you must know that extroverts need company, and you have to sacrifice you time sometimes for the friendship, maybe you can pick a day a week where you guys can meet. but let her know too that you want your time too. give and take.
if she cant take that, and she cant give you the privacy, then she might not understand it, and its okay, its not her fault, she's just ignorant and have no interest in extroversion/introversion stuff (like most of the extroverts). let her be, and decline politely. let you be yourself. you can always find other friends that appreciate you the way you are. what i mean is, its okay to cut her off your life. well its better than having her around and you have to keep your annoyance and bitter feelings towards her right? as life goes on, less people will stay anyway, and you will know those who stay are really worth keeping. and you can always find other friends that accept you the way you are :)
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